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Coach John McGuirk

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Coach Jonovan Alden McGuirk
Soccer Coach
1st Appearance:
Last Appearance:
April 1st, 1965
Pedro (deceased uncle), Donna (sister) John's father (father) John's mother (mother) unnamed grandmother
Tracing his varicose veins, black hole beer

Coach John McGuirk (Voiced by H. Jon Benjamin) is Brendon and Melissa’s incompetent, greasy, acerbic soccer coach; an overweight, alcoholic Irish-American artist who constantly gives Brendon bad advice.


McGuirk considers Brendon, Melissa and Jason his friends and will usually help them out or stick up for them even though he is often rude to them (especially Melissa). He often attempts to portray a father figure for Brendon, as in the show's finale. Also, he frequently attempts to reach out to Mr. Lynch and Melissa's dad, Erik; however his misguided attempts often fail due mainly to his poor attitude.

He often tries to impress or court Paula, Brendon’s mother. McGuirk also admits that he hates soccer and has never played soccer, despite being the elementary school’s soccer coach. In one episode it was revealed that he was a Scottish highland dancer (although he is Irish) as a child.

He can be an intensely angry person though he usually is able to deal with it through getting drunk and screaming in his apartment. Also in that episode it is revealed that he was a veteran of the Gulf War. But it is unknown if he made that up to get a manager's position.


He is an overweight man with messy, straight, dirty-blond hair with thick bushy eyebrows. He wears a red jacket with red jogging-pants, red shoes and a blue whistle necklace around his neck. He is 8'2" (Broken Dreams). In episode 22 "Class Trip", due to an electrical shock, you can see he has a metal plate on the right side of his head. He has two tattoos: a cow on his left arm and the Chiquita Banana on his chest.


  • Brendon Gets Rabies is the only episode where Coach McGuirk doesn't appear.
  • In the Family Guy special episode Blue Harvest, Coach McGuirk is seen in the background at the cantina scene.
  • In the Homestar Runner episode Happy Hallow Day, Bubs is Coach McGuirk for his Halloween costume.
  • Like many characters in the series, he is named after his voice actor, H. Jon Benjamin.
  • He got his cow tattoo at 18 years old.
  • He played golf in high school, almost making it to the state finals.
  • He went to school for architecture.

External Links[]

Coach McGuirk - Villains Wiki